THE GREATER DEPRESSION CHRONICLES: ...Smiling Ed is Stealing My Coffee!

Smiling Ed...

A few months back, I saw my weekly paycheck was suddenly a little bit fatter.

"It's your Obama tax cut," the payroll folks explained.

I got on the horn with the White House.

"Hey, O ...what's this extra dough in Dynamo's payroll?"

"Tax Cut, Dynamo!"

"Looks like about a weekly pizza's worth! Can I use it for wings?"

"Hey, baby," said the Big Guy, "It's a stimulus! Go forth and stimulate on whatever you want!"

So the Dynamo household started having weekly Friday pizza nights again. And there was abundant joy in Dynamoville.

But next came 50 straight days of increases in gas prices, and most of that Dynamo pizza ended up in the gas tank. Just enough remained for a weekly bag of java beans for the morning coffee.

Then Smiling Ed Rendell, PA's Governor, came to town to announce a plan for a whopping 16% increase in personal income tax.

"Hey," said smiling Ed, "It's not a big deal. A mere pittance. About a week's worth of java."

And there went the rest of Dynamo's stimulus.

And so I got right back on the horn to the Big Guy.

"Hey, O ...Big Oil and Smiling Ed have are trying to abscond with my stimulus!"

"Can't really talk now, Dynamo," said the Big Guy. "Gotta come up with a plan for all those hundreds of billions we're putting into Health Care."

"Say, Big Guy," I asked. "Isn't that bass-ackwards? How's about a plan first, then a budget?"

"Gotta run, Dynamo," said the Big Guy. "Joe B's here to walk my new doggie, Bo."

"But what about my stimulus pizza?"

"That's the breaks, Dynamo!"

"Hey, just one more thing," I asked. "Who's paying for that pizza, anyway?"

"Your grandchildren."

And click went the phone.

...and so, my friends, there you have it. The Gubbermint Giveth, and the Gubbermint Taxeth Away...


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