Random "Freethinking" ....which means, hey, whatever popped into my head...

Women are always having baby showers for expectant mothers. How do those things work? Do you pop the kid out, hose'em down, then pop'em back in? I don't get these weird female customs.

* * *

I wrote about this once years ago, but it bears repeating. If you're having a god-awful day, one for the record books, and you want to lash out ...here's a perfectly legal way to do it. On your drive home, go exactly the speed limit. Soon you'll have a line of cars behind you that stretches nearly to the horizon. If you're deaf like me, it's even more fun, because you know they're blowing their horns.

The best part is watching the amusing gestures in the rear-view mirror. Oh, it gets quite colorful. Folks also pound their steering wheels. They punch their dashboards. I do pull over if they wave firearms, but that's just a couple times a week at most. I also think the Governor spit out the window at me once as his limo driver passed me illegally. But it might have just been some bird poop hitting the windshield.

I drive the speed limit all the time now. It makes my bad days bearable, and my good days even better. Sometimes when I arrive home, I pass the house and just keep on driving, the line of cars in my rear-view growing longer with each passing mile. The stress just flows right out of me...

The speed limit. It's not just the law, it's cheap therapy.

* * *

Someone at work ran out of tape today. I left a roll of invisible tape on their desk, but they couldn't find it. I told'em, "...well, at least we know it works."

* * *

I read on AOL that one day the planet Mercury might leave its orbit and collide with the Earth. This would be a bad thing unless it hits Wall Street, where wads of bailout dough would cushion the impact.

Here I thought the planets were all in nice stable orbits, but in fact they wander around. I think Jupiter was once about three miles south of Waco, Texas. Saturn bumped up against the screen at the Hunlock Creek Drive-In Movie Theater a few summers back. They get around, those planet of ours. Even Earth wanders. In fact, the only thing keeping us from falling into the sun is the trillions of cubic feet of hot air rising above Washington when Congress is in session.

Well, God Bless Gubbermint after all....

* * *

Error. Page cannot be displayed. Please contact your service provider for more details. (31)