UN Security Council Pretty Darned Upset with North Korea....

UN Security Council President Claude Heller announced that an official response to North Korea's launch of a rocket this weekend will soon be forthcoming. The launch may have violated a 2006 Security Council resolution.

"Security Council Members have somewhat unanimously semi-pledged to think about very nearly criticizing North Korea for launching this rocket," said Heller. "We may actually move forward with a sharply-worded written condemnation."

He warned that multi-syllable words may be used in the response.

"Hey, we're serious," said Heller. "We're the UN. And if they keep messing with us, we might even pull out the big guns: A sternly worded condemnation."

In a related story, US Navy ships recovered the North Korean "satellite" from the Pacific Ocean Sunday evening after the payload failed to reach orbit.

"Six pots of fermented Kim Chi," said an anonymous Rear Admiral. "We're trying to determine if it was a biological weapon or merely a lunch launch."

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